When I tell people what I do for work they often look at me as if to say wow that must be pretty tough.
In my time as a therapist, I would say generally speaking it has not been very tough. Hour for hour it has been much more rewarding, validating, exciting, and fun. I get to have some of the most vulnerable conversations about the most explicit of topics with folks. There is space to air out secret desires, sexual understanding, shame/guilt, difficult feelings to cope with around sexuality and relationships. Clients have the opportunity to say out loud, sometimes for the first time, things that they have been struggling with on their own. I get the opportunity to assist with lifting that burden with them so that it doesn't weigh as heavily.
Another support in lifting that burden is hope: hope for a better future. Hope for improvement. Hope that things won't feel as heavy. Hope is a key ingredient in the healing process… when they come in for their first appointment and are feeling alone, hope is what gets them through the door. Hope is what keeps them scheduling regular appointments. Hope is what propels people forward when things are scary or tough.
As a therapist, I see part of my job as being a [realistic] beacon of hope. Sometimes this is just through the connection, normalizing the person's experience, or knowing that there can be small or major improvements made on the situation (or at the very least how to cope with it). In the consultation or first appointment, I usually end with goal formation so that the client and I can ensure we are on the same page and our therapeutic process. Ending on this note also has the person leaving with a sense of hope.
So what say we about hope in our current situation? How do we as a society cultivate hope at a time like this?
Practice what you Preach There is a lot of pressure to have a calm presence because it is so key in co-regulation. is putting yourself first is difficult, try to reframe this as less of a pressure and more as a motivator. As helpers, we have our own work to do in developing our personal sense of hope. We are usually empaths and it is very difficult to be in the world as an empath right now. We may have the intellectual knowledge about grounding, containment, and self-care for our clients. This may be the perfect time to consider trying something new for your own wellness, so that you may be able to show up in your work as grounded as possible. Gratitude practices, CBT exercises, positive affirmations… no time like the present time to up our self-care game! That fake it till you make it principle may need to apply here depending on how impacted you already feel by all of this.
How Can we do our Work in Congruence with our Values? There has been a lot of pressure to shift the way we work very quickly. Many therapists are able to work remotely, and are moving to online practice. I am very grateful for the ability to do this work in a safe way so that I can continue to support the folks in my community.
You may also be considering pricing if you're in private practice, and potential sliding scales for a temporary basis so that clients can access who have lost their jobs. Touch into what feels right as a sliding scale. Tad Hadgrave from Marketing for Hippies demonstrated the pendulum process of proving to me a couple of weekends ago: think of a low price, too low, and sense what that feels like in your body as a charge for your service. Then think of too high of a price and sense what that feels like for your service. Go back to the low point and add of $5 or $10, then back to the high and subtract $5 or $10. Continue this until you get a visceral sense of what feels reasonable.
Sliding scale may not feel reasonable either. Pay-what-you-can may feel reasonable. This is going to be extremely individual for each therapist. Perhaps make an offering of a guided meditation to your clients, or curating a list of videos/meditations/exercises/FaceBook groups they can access that might be beneficial.
Be There for One Another Helpers please support other helpers. Folks are making very individual decisions around what they do with their practices, and the timelines in which they do that. Although we are able to work from home, there may be some barriers in being able to go over to a completely online practice, especially when we're working in rural communities, or if folks are losing clients because of this move. We are all making the decisions we are out of care and concern for our clients and for our practice.
I trust that everybody is doing their best with a very difficult situation. Be kind to one another, and if you can, offer support where you can.
Fostering Hope during a Pandemic: it's a big job. Sometimes we have to slow down and be real.
I challenge us all to be authentic with ourselves and everyone socially distanced from us. Putting the professional mask on and trying to make it seem like everything is okay is not sustainable. In the name of co-regulation, clients can feel our energy and so let's name it. Let's take the shared space of anxiety to create connection and foster a visceral feeling of hope. We're doing our best to cultivate hope and a time that seems very hopeless to so many. But in the famous words of Mr. Rodgers: "When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother always said - look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."
And I know darn well you have seen that quote before and smiled. There it is. There's the hope. It's you! 💜
